Wash Away the Memory
by Permanent Rose
Summary: /Emma Pillsbury hadn't always feared germs./ Emma takes a trip to the dairy farm with her family, and after one split second, her life will never be the same.


Emma hadn't always feared germs.

It had begun as an aversion to unpleasant odors, in fact, after a trip to a local dairy farm with her parents.

The day had been dreary and overcast, but Emma didn't remember that. In fact, Emma hardly remembered any details of the trip itself with the exception of the disaster it has ended in.

She didn't remember the stickiness of the humid air on her skin, or the way her brand new rubber boots squeaked with each step, or the muted scent of manure that wafted from the direction of the barn.

She skipped absentmindedly along the path that led to the barn, playing a game of puddle jumping with herself, delighting in the way her new boots glistened in the hazy sunlight as the muddy water droplets ran down the rubbery surface.

Behind Emma, her parents strolled at a comfortable pace, talking of things that concerned adults, a world full of ideas that was of little interest to Emma. And behind her parents, her brother, Tommy, trudged along grudgingly. His idea of an entertaining afternoon did not involve a tour of a dairy farm.

"This is so lame!" Tommy exclaimed, digging at rock that was stuck in the muddy path with the toe of his sneaker.

"Thomas," his mother warned, and the twelve-year-old boy rolled his eyes at her use of his full name. "Emma's been dying to do this for ages, you know that."

"Yeah…" be mumbled, picking the rock up off the ground and cradling the dirty stone in his hand. "But I still don't see why I had to come."

"We're a family, Tom," his father dished out the famous line. "And families d—"

Tommy interrupted, rubbing the rock between his fingers as a devilish grin crossed his face. "Yeah, do things together, I know, I know…"

He ran up ahead of his parents, watching as his eight-year-old sister played her puddle jumping game. "Heads up, Em!" he shouted, bringing his arm behind his back as he let the rock slip from his fingers.

Emma turned abruptly, screaming as the rock nearly grazed her head, landing in the puddle in front of her with a tremendous splash. Emma stumbled backward, falling into the soft mud as she lost her balance.

"Mommy!" Emma exclaimed, on the verge of tears, starting in shock at her mud covered boots.

"Em, it's fine. It's just mud," her mother soothed as she helped her daughter to her feet. "We'll wash your boots when we get home…And Thomas Michael," she turned to her son, who immediately wiped the grin off his face upon seeing her glare. "One more wrong move today, mister, and you're grounded until further notice."

"Good," he muttered under his breath, "then I won't have to come on stupid family outings like this."

"What was that?" His mother spoke sharply, narrowing her eyes.

"Nothing," Tommy mumbled quickly, turning toward his sister. She wiped her muddy hands on the knees of her denim overalls without a second thought and began to puddle hop once again as if nothing had happened.

A sly grin crept to Tommy's face once again as he watched his sister. He had every intent to make this day as miserable for her as possible, despite the consequences.

"Hey, twerp," he called to her, jogging to catch up. "You really want to run a dump like this when you grow up?"

"Yes, and it is _not _a dump, Tommy," Emma told him matter-of-factly, stopping her game so she could turn sharply in her heel to face him. "I'm going to be the best dairy farmer in _all_ of Virginia!" Emma informed him, beaming proudly.

Tommy only rolled his eyes.

Emma had become interested in dairy farming ever since she had done a book report for school concerning the matter. The assignment had been to choose a career and find a non fiction book dealing with the topic and then present the facts of the occupation to the class. Emma hadn't really given any thought to what she might want to be, so the kind librarian had picked out a few books for her, hoping that one would pique her interest.

Emma had only picked the one with cows in the cover because it caught her attention, seeing as she owned a stuffed cow, Clarissa, whom she loved very dearly, and upon reading the child friendly guide to dairy farming, Emma quickly became obsessed with the idea, and adamantly dove into researching the topic more thoroughly. Shortly after her eighth birthday, her parents decided to surprise her with a trip to a local dairy farm.

"I think that's the farmer straight ahead," her father told the family, squinting off into the distance toward the barn that rested at the end of the path.

Emma quickly ran ahead of the family, intent on being the first one to greet the farmer. He was a tall man with a full beard the color of honey flecked with specks of salt and pepper. He wore a pair of overalls, a pair of faded black boots, and a cowboy hat.

"Howdy, cowgirl," he told Emma, grinning as the child's eyes lit up. "Would you look at that—we match."

Indeed they did. Emma grinned as she realized that her own overalls and boots were exactly what the dairy farmer was wearing. "All except for the hat," noticed, her face falling as she realized she was not as well equipped as she had planned.

"I have an idea—why don't you wear the hat while I give the tour?" He told her, seeing the disappointment in the child's face.

"Really?" Her eyes lit up once again as he placed the hat on her red locks. It fell straight over her eyes, and the farmer chuckled. Emma stared up at him with adoring eyes.

"So what's your name, cowgirl?"

"I'm Emma," she told him. "Emma Pillsbury, and someday I'm gonna be a dairy farmer!"

He chuckled once again. "It's nice to meet you, Miss Pillsbury. I think you're going to make one heck of a dairy farmer, let me tell you. I'm Sydney Muntz, by the way, but you can just call me Syd."

He reached out to shake her hand, and Emma gladly placed her small, soft hand into his large, calloused one.

By this time, the rest of that family had reached the entrance to the barn, and Syd introduced himself.

"So are y'all ready to start?" he asked the family.

Emma was about to burst excitement as she said the words. "Yes! Come on everyone! Let's go, let's go!"

Her parents gladly followed, delighting in their daughter's enthusiasm. Tommy mumbled something unintelligible under his breath as he grudgingly followed.

Emma was enthralled by each part of the tour, and Syd's lively commentary and humorous remarks only intrigued the young girl even more.

As they drew near the end of the tour, he led them toward the edge of the farm.

"What's that?" Emma asked, pointing toward a large stagnant pond that rested about thirty yards ahead.

"That," Syd said, leading the family closer, "is the runoff lagoon. Basically, it's a pond of cow dung and other organic matter."

Emma wrinkled her nose, half disgusted, half fascinated. As her father began to ask Syd questions about the nature of the lagoon, Emma wandered closer to obtain a better view. The odor became stronger as the reached the edge, and Emma gagged slightly from the stench. She buried her nose into the sleeve of her shirt, the fresh scent of fabric softener calming her.

"Would you look at all that shit?" Tommy smirked, seemingly appearing behind Emma out of nowhere.

"That's not a nice word. I'm going to tell Mom you cursed, _Thomas._" Emma wheeled around to defiantly face her brother.

"You're nothing but a little snitch. And _don't _call me Thomas," Tommy warned her, practically snarling as he said the words.

"_Don't _tell _me _what to do!" Emma spit back with just as much vehemence. She reached out to shove him with her small skinny arms.

"Don't you push me!" Tommy growled, shoving Emma much harder than she had shoved him.

She stumbled backwards, the anger coursing strongly through her. "Make me!"

She ran into Tommy, pushing him with all the force her small body could muster. This time, Tommy stumbled backward, nearly falling as he tried to regain his footing. He turned to Emma, his eyes wild with fury, as he gave her one final shove.

Emma practically flew backward from the force of the push, howling in anger and pain as she teetered at the edge of the lagoon before falling in with a tremendous splash.

Tommy was smug at first, but when his sister did not surface, a feeling of dread washed over him. "D-d-ad…" he stuttered over the word, turning toward his father and Syd.

His father strolled down, laughing with Syd as he did so, and Tommy was in too much shock to hurry him along.

"Tommy?" his father asked, and his faced paled as he saw Tommy's shocked expression. "Where's your sister?"

Tommy slowly turned his head toward the direction of the lagoon, just as Emma surfaced, sputtering and screaming as the filthy water engulfed her once again.

"Emma!" her father called frantically, running toward the edge of the lagoon. "What do we do? How do we get her out?"

"I'll get her," Syd volunteered, taking off his boots as he dove fearlessly into the putrid lagoon. When he surfaced, the small sobbing girl clung desperately to his neck.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," her father repeated over and over again as Syd pulled himself and Emma from the lagoon. "Em? Are you alright? Don't cry. Daddy's here..."

But Emma could not stop her tears as she collapsed to the ground.

"What happened?" her mother exclaimed as she headed down toward the frantic scene, gasping when she saw her daughter.

"Emma fell in," her father quickly exclaimed, kneeling down beside Emma. "Em, are you feeling any better? Em?"

But Emma was too hysterical to answer. She could taste the cow dung in her mouth, lining her teeth and gums, and she was certain she had swallowed some. And the smell. There was nothing to describe the fetid smell of manure and rotted dairy that covered every inch of her. And there was no clean sleeve to bury her nose in now so she could make the smell go away. She gagged helplessly, vomiting violently on the ground in front of her.

Her father picked her up, nearly gagging himself as he did so, and cradled his small daughter in his arms. "It's going to be okay," he tried to reassure her. "I promise, Em."

Her mother turned toward Syd, smiling at him kindly. "We need to get her home and washed off, but thanks for everything today. I know she loved it."

Syd smiled back. He seemed unaffected by the filth that covered him, as if he had grown accustomed to it long ago. "It was my pleasure. But come up to the barn with me. We'll get her hosed off, and I can get you some plastic bags for her to sit on for the ride home."

The next hour came and went as s blur to Emma. She vaguely remembered being hosed off and being placed into the car. She only caught fragments of her parents yelling at Tommy when they discovered that he had pushed her in. And she lost count of how many times she vomited.

Upon returning home, her mother led her to the bathroom, peeling off her soaked, ruined clothing and discarding it in the garbage. She helped Emma into the shower, wincing when Emma vomited once again, and then Emma began to clean herself. She washed her hair until there was no shampoo left, and she scrubbed her arms until they were red and raw.

She nearly collapsed as she stepped out of the shower, and her mother had to help her dress in a pair of soft, clean pajamas. Emma refused to eat, and her parents, though worried, tucked her gently into bed for the night.

Emma's dreams were filled with a mix of swirling memories and heightened panic as she relived the fall into the lagoon. She woke in the middle of the night, screaming, unable to make the unbearable smell leave her memory.

Her mother found her in the shower, sobbing as she rubbed the soap into her skin.

"Emma! What are you doing? It's three o'clock in the morning!" Her mother watched the bar of soap fall from the helpless girl's hands.

"I'm trying to make the smell go away," Emma told her, her voice thick with tears.

"Emma, I can assure you, you don't smell. You took care of that with your last shower. Its over now, Em."

But Emma vehemently shook her head, groping for the soap that fallen to the shower floor. "No it's not, no it's not, no it's not," she began to chant successively, scrapping her arms so violent that her fingers nails caught on her delicate skin and she began to bleed.

It took her mother another half hour to get the distraught girl back into bed, and when she finally slipped beneath the sheets of her own bed, she prayed desperately that her daughter would be back to normal by morning.

But Emma was never the same. The traumatic experience scarred her, and not only did she shower constantly to rid herself of the memory of the smell, but she began to clean _everything. _She started with her room, and then moved onto the rest of the house. The fresh scent of cleaning products calmed her, and each time she delved into a cleaning project, she imagined she was washing away the terrible memory.

***

"Em?" Tommy hesitantly knocked on his sister's bedroom door. She didn't answer, but he let himself in nonetheless. The fresh scent of lemon and pine filled her nose as he entered the immaculate bedroom.

Emma sat on her bed, holding a library book out in front of her with gloved hands as she tediously read the book.

"Wanna come and play down by the creek with me?" Tommy asked softly, watching as Emma gently placed the library book on her nightstand.

Her faced paled just as the suggestion, and Tommy's face fell. The creek used to be their favorite place to play. "Come on, Em," he urged, watching as his sister pulled her knees to her chest as she shut out his words and the rest of the world. He already knew that he had lost this one. "It's been over a month since…you know…" He saw Emma stiffen at the mere memory, and Tommy cursed himself for brining it up. He only wanted his sister back.

"Em?" he tried softly, one last time. But Emma wouldn't even lift her head. She was too far gone.

Tommy slowly exited the room, trying to push away the feeling of guilt that burdened him everyday as he watched his little sister deteriorate before his eyes.

Emma hadn't always feared germs, but hardly anyone can remember that.

* * *

_A/N: Well, I thought this would be fun to write...I didn't plan to go into so much detail, but it was just too much fun to write about Emma before the accident. I can only hope that I did her character justice. _

_Thanks for reading, and let me know what you thought!_


End file.
